"Tastes like the cow got

into an onion patch..."

- Napoleon Dynamite

11:00 PM EDT 7/22/2011: We know it's so hot that you don't even need to grill. Just take the steak out of the fridge, set on the plate and wait five minutes. While it's cooking, you can change your shirt for the third time since 2 PM and rinse out the salt forming along the brim of your hat. Even this morning, after I warmed up my wife's coffee in the microwave, I set her cup next to mine outside on the porch in the sun. Darned if it did not feel warmer than when I first brought it out. 

In heat like this, drinking water has become the new national pastime. For some, the body almost forgets what eating feels like. You don't want to prepare a meal, because that would expend energy, making you more hot. Cooking would heat up the kitchen, and the AC just loves that idea, huh? Then if you actually retained brainpower to complete meal prep, then you have to cut and chew the food, which is tiring... just so much effort it wears me out thinking of it. Then the person in charge of your kitchen says, "Clean up!" as if you have any desire to do dishes between now and next Thursday. Decisions, decisions. 

So the best solution to this whole summer meal issue when you don't want to cook in the heat is... man's second best friend: A bowl of cereal, piled real high with 3% milk. Now we're talkin'! So you set up all your fav reading links in a Google Chrome spread, take a big spoonful of the cereal...and blah. bleeh, pehh. You never shut the fridge all the way this morning. The milk tastes like the cow got into an onion patch. It's as sour as you can imagine. The the electricity goes down because you're in a rolling black out area. 

To at least get something out of this horrid day of heat, you step outside into the oven of the millenium to discover.. even the ice cream truck melted. Take heart, as of Monday.. Christmas will be just 5 months away. 

(Forecaster Foot: State College PA. Our traditional lead story will return on Saturday.)